Small Biz Fuel

Have you ever attended a large networking event and felt like you were just one in the crowd? I suspect most small business owners and managers have those occasional moments when – no matter our product/service confidence, no matter our knowledge of past success – we look around the room and see so many Big Shots, people who are getting all the attention. Such an experience can be a crisis of personal identity and value – a crisis that, if not interrupted, or if repeated too often, could initiate downward momentum in our business. While we ought to know that our identity and value is not determined by how others view us or by the level of attention others pay us, we are human. As such, we experience those times when the attention of others would be a powerful source of encouragement and validation. Yet, when we look around the room, the Big Shots are getting all the attention.

Have you been there? I have, as recent as last week. At a Chamber of Commerce event hosted by the local county club, I found myself feeling like a non-Big Shot. While I was meeting new people and making good contacts, I felt less than great about myself that evening. I was a bit beat up by the day’s business challenges and was attending the event out of obligation, not desire. Toward the end of the evening, a particular Big Shot caught my eye. Like the others, he was getting a lot of attention. I’ve known him for some time. He’s a successful publisher, who has taken time to give me advice and encouragement in the growth of my business. I glanced his way several times, observing his interaction with several people. My final glance was greeted with him waving wildly to get my attention. He had seen me across the room and was waving and smiling. His effort said so much more than, “Hi Phil.” It said, “Hi Phil. I see you all the way across the room and I’m making the extra effort to interrupt my conversation and acknowledge you in front of a lot of people, because you are someone I value.” The person I was standing near at that moment saw his antics and said something like, “That guy over there really thinks a lot of you.” Suddenly, I felt like a Big Shot. Not because I actually was, but because someone I respected paid attention to me.

The next day, I received an email from a past client. He had attended the same event the evening before. He contacted me about doing business together again, but his opening comments really struck me. He wrote, “I saw you at the Chamber event last night. I wanted to say ‘Hello’ but you were really networking.” Did he think I was a Big Shot that night?

Looking back, that series of events reminded me of what I already knew, but needed to be reminded. We all want to feel like a Big Shot. Yet, we can’t make that of ourselves. Big Shots are made by the attention of others. More importantly, Big Shots receive the attention of others, because they GIVE attention to others. That’s why others want to pay attention to them. The most important reminder: As soon as you think you are a Big Shot, you are not.

So, do you want to be a Big Shot? Then, go make Big Shots. Find people who need attention. Give it to them. Your time will come.